The nose knows

OK, here's a random Mommy post.

 

So, I've always wondered about PBS's Arthur.  Do you know him?  He's supposedly this aardvark.  I've always wondered why they insisted he was an aardvark, because he looks nothing like one.  How do you get to be an anteater without a nose to suck up all the little bugs?  (OK, I just googled that and it turns out anteaters and aardvarks aren't exactly the same thing, but they're close.  Anyway...)

So, we have this aardvark who doesn't look like an aardvark and the show is cute enough and it's spawned from these great books.  So lately, my youngest daughter has been crazy about the books, and we've been checking them out at the library.

Which is where I discovered Arthur's dirty little secret.  This is so big I'm surprised there is not yet an E! True Hollywood Story about it.  Meet Arthur, the original.  That's right, in his debut Arthur really looked like an aardvark.  The most horrible part?  The book is called Arthur's Nose and is actually the story of how Arthur is unhappy with his nose and is thinking of changing it.  He goes the animal version of a plastic surgeon and they go over his options.  In the end, Arthur decides his nose is the best (!) and he, his friends, and family end up loving Arthur just the way he is (...until Hollywood comes calling, that is).  

Ok, so how cliche is this?  Really, Arthur, I can almost see the Hollywood hotshot in his eel skin suit, pointing his fingers like guns, and winking while making that "cha-ching" noise.   Seriously, who saw this book and thought "Yep, I love it, let's change everything, including the central message of the story." Where was Marc Brown, the author...oh yea, he was too busy seeing dollar signs.  That's right, I'm calling you out Mr. Brown for pimping your own creation.

So, now Arthur has lost my respect.  There goes my chances of ever donating to public television, I wouldn't want my donation to go to a tummy tuck for Snuffie or a skin bleaching for Clifford. 

It really doesn't matter to Arthur, he's laughing all the way to the bank.  In fact, I bet he's hanging out drinking Mai Tai's on the beach with Heidi Montag and Joan Rivers and his only regret was having the rhinoplasty before the great cocaine era of the 80's.

But what about the children, Arthur?  What kind of message are you sending out to the little Barry Manilows and Barbra Streisands of the world?  How could you? You were a role model, Arthur.  For shame.

What is the central message of this blog?  If I wrote one, I'd just then publish the opposite once someone agreed to publish this drivel.  C'mon, dude or dudette editor at my favorite publishing house, I'm waiting by the phone and can't wait for my millionaire makeover.  Love ya, chow baby.

P.S.  I found this online...the 25th anniversary of the first book.  I don't get it.  How confusing is this for kids?  The best part is the foreword by Michael Jackson.