Family killed by iPod

I don't know why, but I was really excited for my husband to get an iPod. That excitement lasted all of 20 minutes after he opened the box.

You see, I've had my iPod for a couple of years now and love it. I am former radio DJ so I really dig music and any contraption that will stick it to my former employers/industry (anotha blog, I'm sure). But now I have come to hate my husband's iPod...with a passion.

The many reasons why I don't like my husband's iPod:

1. I now have to listen to HIS music when we're in the car. Blech.

2. When I complain, he wears his headphones in the car; not safe and not good company.

3. He now spends ALL his time transferring his CDs into our computer.

4. Said computer has all of 4% free space now. Of course, sweetie, I have no problem with you deleting all of the photos of our children so you can fit the Best of the Bee Gees on there!

5. He is anal enough to transfer all his CDs alphabetically by artist. This bugs me.

6. He loads entire albums into iTunes then rushes to listen to all the songs, rate them, and erase the tunes he doesn't care for.

7. To weed through ALL his tunes quickly, he gives each song approximately 5 seconds, right when you "get" into the song he moves on the the next one...over and over and OVER again. It's like travelling with an cocophonious ADHD train wreck.

8. He rates every song no matter what is going on. Oh, did you know the perfect time to search through the genre list and look for that exact song you can't remember the title to is while merging onto rush hour traffic with your two daughters asleep in the backseat? I swear to you he said to me, "I haven't seen us cross over the double line yet!" Yes, honey, that's because you are too busy looking at your gizmo to realize we're kissing the 18-wheeler in the next lane. I'm looking at my death and thy name is nano.

9. He thinks I am the expert on all things iTunes and iPod. No, I don't know why it's acting up. You know I don't work for Steve Jobs--stop asking me technical questions.

10. If he starts one more sentence with "You know on MY iPod I can..." Unless that sentence ends with "...mint real $20 bills" I'm not interested. I have one...I know what they do.

Guess I'm a real grump today. But doesn't anyone else have the Husband model # willingtoriskthelifeofmyfamilyforthesakeofasong? Forget anti-textmessaging legislation for drivers, I'm all about the silent scroll-wheel killer.